It's been so long since my last update. This is my first post after that long hiatus. Guess I just don't know what to write anymore. Not to mention the lack of privacy in my new house too. I think something is really wrong with myself. I can no longer feel the ties or the connection to anyone anymore. That's bad. I don't feel that excited with my family any more and it keeps on getting awkward.
Being me, I rarely call or text them if I don't have anything to say. Now, it's much worse. I guess this is what happened after going through such experience. Honestly, I feel comfortable being alone most of the time, like right now, when nobody is around and I can be myself. I dislike having people wanting to tag along with me all the time or surrounding me. Am I turning into an anti-social? I think I have serious problems with myself that I can't find the right words to describe it.
Or is this just another side effect of the medication I'm taking? I'm on Roaccutane for my acne problems, yeah I decided to go to a skin specialist before things get worse for my skin. My life is a mess and I don't want my skin to be like my life too.
Today is the day when Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu (JYJ) performed on A-Nation concert in Osaka Japan while Yunho and Changmin performed in SMTown Concert in Seoul Korea separately. Although they are on different stages, they are always one. #2stages1tvxq forever!
My post is so random, but I think I need to update after such a long time.
Until then
I'll be back
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Crescent for my exam TT,TT
Annyeong
Today I went to check the result for my mid semester exams. So far the result of 2 out of the four papers were out and I got crescent for both papers TT^TT
My performance is bad...probably because my heart is not here anymore. I hate to admit it, but I continued my study in the university basically because my parents insisted on it and I know it's be hard for me to get a job later if I don't have any paper qualification. What a world....
But if I quit my study, I don't know what can I do. I don't have any particular talent, gift or business mind or things like that so I figure that by studying at least I have something though I don't have that much interest in it.
Back in high school, I graduated as the top student for my batch, though it was nothing big, considering the school I went to was a school full with students that only came to school because their parents didn't want to get sued for not sending their kids to school. I entered the school after my family moved to the place when I was 15 entering 16.
I pretty much hated the school, the environment and everything in that place. Basically it was because I had to leave my friends in my old school. It wasn't easy for me to make friends nor did I have lots of friends, but those friends were the closest friends I only had. So, when I left them in the old school, I felt a deep sense of loss and that was the beginning of me developing a sense of security in being alone. As much as people dislike being alone, I actually enjoyed the last two years of my high school by myself.
My family? I didn't bother about them, mainly because my parents were the main reason why we moved, part of my father's work and some issues they got into back in our old place. So it was fair to say I hated them at the time. I even begged my father to let me stay and I even considered staying by myself if I had to but my mom strictly said no. "Why must you comply to all her words?" That was what she told my father when my father told her about me wanting to stay. And I didn't talk to my mom so much after that for about 2-3 years.
So after we moved to the new place, I secluded myself from everything. I never went out with my family and almost every night for the first few months, I cried myself to sleep. What I felt at the moment was, when I finally managed to get people to become closer to me, there would be something that would break us apart.
I only went out for school or my tuition class. Even at school, I told myself not to get involve in anything and I have to study hard to get out of that place to return back to my old place. So I did. It was funny because when I was in my old school, it was a clustered school where people really compete to enter and maintain in the school but I didn't bother about studying back then. And when I was in the school of troubled students and delinquents, I studied like hell and practically ignored everything in the school and studied.
So after the final exam for high school, I managed to get a very good result and came in first for my batch, which didn't really surprise me at all. I even got an award, which I'm not sure what was the award for, so I didn't really bother.
What happened at that time was, when the result was announced, my parents had a nasty fight for a few days and my mom left home for quite some time. My father told me he'd come but later he said he was too pre-occupied with the problem with my mom and he couldn't make it.
So I drove to the school and went to the graduation ceremony alone. Can you imagine, you were the top student in the school and you went to get the award all alone while the person below me came with their parents, looked very proud and happy.
I came quite late to the ceremony, blame my eyes for crying and ended up swollen on the day of the ceremony. When I entered the school gate, the compound was empty but I was surprised to see my headmistress waiting for me by herself and she congratulated me with a hug. It was ironic how my mom and dad weren't there for me, instead a stranger filled in the emptiness they left.
As I sat by myself in the hall, I never felt so lonely in a place full of people. Even when my name was announced, I didn't feel happy at all. I just wanted to go home to my bed as fast as I could. As soon as the even ended, I tried to hurry home but one of the school counselor asked me to take my picture so I just let her took my photo. Later I heard the school made a banner from that picture and hang it around school. I made a mental note not to ever step a foot into that school again.
No one really know how hard I cried as I drove home and deep down inside of me I felt like all my effort to get good grades and perform well in studies were in vain. Why should I even bother about it any longer? For me, those two years were the hardest and loneliest out of my life.
Until now, I never bother about good grades or to perform well in my studies. As long as I pass, it's good enough for me. I don't ever want to go through the same feeling again. People looked at you admiringly, but the close people around you, never bother about it. So, what's the point of doing it again?
Today I went to check the result for my mid semester exams. So far the result of 2 out of the four papers were out and I got crescent for both papers TT^TT
My performance is bad...probably because my heart is not here anymore. I hate to admit it, but I continued my study in the university basically because my parents insisted on it and I know it's be hard for me to get a job later if I don't have any paper qualification. What a world....
But if I quit my study, I don't know what can I do. I don't have any particular talent, gift or business mind or things like that so I figure that by studying at least I have something though I don't have that much interest in it.
Back in high school, I graduated as the top student for my batch, though it was nothing big, considering the school I went to was a school full with students that only came to school because their parents didn't want to get sued for not sending their kids to school. I entered the school after my family moved to the place when I was 15 entering 16.
I pretty much hated the school, the environment and everything in that place. Basically it was because I had to leave my friends in my old school. It wasn't easy for me to make friends nor did I have lots of friends, but those friends were the closest friends I only had. So, when I left them in the old school, I felt a deep sense of loss and that was the beginning of me developing a sense of security in being alone. As much as people dislike being alone, I actually enjoyed the last two years of my high school by myself.
My family? I didn't bother about them, mainly because my parents were the main reason why we moved, part of my father's work and some issues they got into back in our old place. So it was fair to say I hated them at the time. I even begged my father to let me stay and I even considered staying by myself if I had to but my mom strictly said no. "Why must you comply to all her words?" That was what she told my father when my father told her about me wanting to stay. And I didn't talk to my mom so much after that for about 2-3 years.
So after we moved to the new place, I secluded myself from everything. I never went out with my family and almost every night for the first few months, I cried myself to sleep. What I felt at the moment was, when I finally managed to get people to become closer to me, there would be something that would break us apart.
I only went out for school or my tuition class. Even at school, I told myself not to get involve in anything and I have to study hard to get out of that place to return back to my old place. So I did. It was funny because when I was in my old school, it was a clustered school where people really compete to enter and maintain in the school but I didn't bother about studying back then. And when I was in the school of troubled students and delinquents, I studied like hell and practically ignored everything in the school and studied.
So after the final exam for high school, I managed to get a very good result and came in first for my batch, which didn't really surprise me at all. I even got an award, which I'm not sure what was the award for, so I didn't really bother.
What happened at that time was, when the result was announced, my parents had a nasty fight for a few days and my mom left home for quite some time. My father told me he'd come but later he said he was too pre-occupied with the problem with my mom and he couldn't make it.
So I drove to the school and went to the graduation ceremony alone. Can you imagine, you were the top student in the school and you went to get the award all alone while the person below me came with their parents, looked very proud and happy.
I came quite late to the ceremony, blame my eyes for crying and ended up swollen on the day of the ceremony. When I entered the school gate, the compound was empty but I was surprised to see my headmistress waiting for me by herself and she congratulated me with a hug. It was ironic how my mom and dad weren't there for me, instead a stranger filled in the emptiness they left.
As I sat by myself in the hall, I never felt so lonely in a place full of people. Even when my name was announced, I didn't feel happy at all. I just wanted to go home to my bed as fast as I could. As soon as the even ended, I tried to hurry home but one of the school counselor asked me to take my picture so I just let her took my photo. Later I heard the school made a banner from that picture and hang it around school. I made a mental note not to ever step a foot into that school again.
No one really know how hard I cried as I drove home and deep down inside of me I felt like all my effort to get good grades and perform well in studies were in vain. Why should I even bother about it any longer? For me, those two years were the hardest and loneliest out of my life.
Until now, I never bother about good grades or to perform well in my studies. As long as I pass, it's good enough for me. I don't ever want to go through the same feeling again. People looked at you admiringly, but the close people around you, never bother about it. So, what's the point of doing it again?
Graduation picture is supposed to be like this, not like mine.
And luckily, I never came across that graduation picture so far. Hopefully I won't ever.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
U-KISS fan meeting in Malaysia - Got the redemption letters!!
Annyeong~
I went to the Geneses Dream Entertainment pre-sale yesterday at Times Square to pay for my seats booking and surprisingly, not that many people came! Unlike Super Show II, where we have to line up to get the best seats, for this event, since the management company had already received our booking online, it was so much easier to pay and get the redemption letters. At least I don't have to line up for more than 7 hours to get the tickets ^^
Also, since I came early to pay for the tickets, I even get 3 mini posters! Another yay! for them. Again, compare to Super Show, even though you've lined up for 7++ hours to get your tickets, to get the limited posters, you had to line up once again to redeem the posters, which was held on some other day, which put us back to square one although we came so early to line up for the tickets that day.
SO do I still have doubts about the management company? OF COURSE YES! But it was also the same for SuShow, I only believed it when there were advertisements on the local paper and T. GDE told us that there will be a promotional video recorded by the boys themselves about this event and the video will reach them soon, so let's once again cross my fingers and hope it's the truth.
Well, here's a peek of how the posters and redemption cards look like:
Though GDE is under suspicion for fraud, as claim by some fans, but I have to say that at least the pre-sale was well organized and it was held in a restaurant for god sake! But I didn't have to wait for 7 hours to get the tickets, so GDE left a good impression on me ^^
Till then,
I'll be back~
I went to the Geneses Dream Entertainment pre-sale yesterday at Times Square to pay for my seats booking and surprisingly, not that many people came! Unlike Super Show II, where we have to line up to get the best seats, for this event, since the management company had already received our booking online, it was so much easier to pay and get the redemption letters. At least I don't have to line up for more than 7 hours to get the tickets ^^
Also, since I came early to pay for the tickets, I even get 3 mini posters! Another yay! for them. Again, compare to Super Show, even though you've lined up for 7++ hours to get your tickets, to get the limited posters, you had to line up once again to redeem the posters, which was held on some other day, which put us back to square one although we came so early to line up for the tickets that day.
SO do I still have doubts about the management company? OF COURSE YES! But it was also the same for SuShow, I only believed it when there were advertisements on the local paper and T. GDE told us that there will be a promotional video recorded by the boys themselves about this event and the video will reach them soon, so let's once again cross my fingers and hope it's the truth.
Well, here's a peek of how the posters and redemption cards look like:
Redemption card
The mini poster
Though GDE is under suspicion for fraud, as claim by some fans, but I have to say that at least the pre-sale was well organized and it was held in a restaurant for god sake! But I didn't have to wait for 7 hours to get the tickets, so GDE left a good impression on me ^^
Till then,
I'll be back~
Monday, March 29, 2010
Score baby~
Annyeong~
I'm so happy today! Why? Remember the online pre-sale booking ticket for U-Kiss fan meeting that will be held on 19th of June this year? I got a reply at 3:40 something in the evening that I managed to get the seats!! Yay~
After a roughly 15 hours and 30 minutes of agonizing wait, I finally got the answer. And the three seats that I booked using 2 emails (since 1 email max for 2 seats), we got them next to each other. Another yay~ Phew, next up is the day of the pre-sale which will be held in Times Square at a Korean restaurant named Hankuk Ramyun, somehwere in the LG floor. Another day of long waiting and queuing like when I bought the tickets for Super Show II is waiting for me.
Luckily I'm quite free that day. Luck is on my side this time.
Now, my main concern is, where can I find the money within 1 day??? I seriously have no money left after Super Show and now, where should I find the resource? I'm completely broke right now. My sisters said they will try to ask money from my dad but I'm really worried about 2 things. First, whether we can really get the money and the reliability of the management company. Seriously worried about the latter, since it will involve my family. Unlike Super Show, even if things turned out for the worse, I can still keep it to myself. But things are different for this one.
I hope nothing bad will happen and this will be a success for Geneses Dream Entertainment since this is the first time they're handling such activities thus, giving them the good or bad reputation. So, I'm crossing my fingers for the good things only!
Until I have another update,
I'll be back~
I'm so happy today! Why? Remember the online pre-sale booking ticket for U-Kiss fan meeting that will be held on 19th of June this year? I got a reply at 3:40 something in the evening that I managed to get the seats!! Yay~
After a roughly 15 hours and 30 minutes of agonizing wait, I finally got the answer. And the three seats that I booked using 2 emails (since 1 email max for 2 seats), we got them next to each other. Another yay~ Phew, next up is the day of the pre-sale which will be held in Times Square at a Korean restaurant named Hankuk Ramyun, somehwere in the LG floor. Another day of long waiting and queuing like when I bought the tickets for Super Show II is waiting for me.
Luckily I'm quite free that day. Luck is on my side this time.
Now, my main concern is, where can I find the money within 1 day??? I seriously have no money left after Super Show and now, where should I find the resource? I'm completely broke right now. My sisters said they will try to ask money from my dad but I'm really worried about 2 things. First, whether we can really get the money and the reliability of the management company. Seriously worried about the latter, since it will involve my family. Unlike Super Show, even if things turned out for the worse, I can still keep it to myself. But things are different for this one.
I hope nothing bad will happen and this will be a success for Geneses Dream Entertainment since this is the first time they're handling such activities thus, giving them the good or bad reputation. So, I'm crossing my fingers for the good things only!
Until I have another update,
I'll be back~
Saturday, March 27, 2010
After SHINee Coming to Malaysia, now UKISS?
Annyeong~
So hopefully, we'll be fast enough to grab three of the best seats, if not the best, for the fan meeting, and hopefully that this event will be like Super Show II and not like FT Island's bad management. Poor boys and fans.
So till then,
I'll be back~
Last week I found an article in some website I cannot remember the name, mentioning that SHINee will be coming to Malaysia somewhere in May for a fan meet. It sounded too good to be true for me, considering the fact that Suju had only came here for their Super Show II this month. And also it will be held in Batu Pahat, not quite a city of choice for international artists to come and have a fan meet but hey, there's always the first time for everything right?
And today, I came across a post by Geneses Entertainment (apparently a new event management company in Malaysia) saying that U-Kiss will be coming to Malaysia in 19th of June 2010 for a fan meeting! Another good news that I feel too good to be true. I thought we Malaysian had already used up our luck to get Suju to perform here but if it's true then...YAY!!
It's causing a riot in Geneses Facebook page with all the questions and inquiries as well as too much information for the fans to absorbed, and also to face the fact that they boys are really coming to town.
I'm excited and this time I let my sisters knew, cause I feel a little bad about going to Super Show II without bringing them along. So, two of my sisters are getting pumped up and now we're waiting for the online pre-booking for the VIP seats to open tomorrow at 10 am. Hopefully we can manage to get our hands on the seats cause there are so many privileges for the VIP batch.
People will definitely fight to get the best seat and get to meet the boys on stage. The packages are so exciting and alluring~
But the tickets are as always...quite pricey but hey, they wanted to sponsor me to go with them, and I'm in no position to say 'no.' Like hell I would.
Once again, I will gear up and enter another war to make my life filled with exciting memories.
Here's the info about the pre-sale that I obtained from Geneses' Website
Opening slot to grab the first 20 VIP Seat Packages will be on 10am, 28 MARCH 2010.
Secure your seat by Email your details to us: genesesdream@gmail.com
For other seat packages, opening slot will be on 12pm, 28 MARCH 2010.
Date, Place and Time for face-to-face Pre-sale will be announce soon.
Details Needed (*Please copy and paste, fill in and e-mail to us)
Name:
New IC Number:
Telephone Number:
Country/State:
Chosen Seat Package:
Quantity of Purchasing:
*Please do not e-mail before the opening slot or else your e-mail will be ignored.
First 20 fans name that grab the VIP seats will be announced through our official website and facebook.
For those that pre-order VIP seats but didn't get to be the first 20 people are allowed to keep the VIP seats pre-order or change it to other seat packages.
And here's the info about the event
Title: U-Kiss! Me
Date: 19th June 2010
Time: 2pm – 5.30pm
Venue: Kuala Lumpur Convention Center, Plenary Hall
Event Content: Fan Meeting, Performances, Interaction Session with Fans, Album Signing
So hopefully, we'll be fast enough to grab three of the best seats, if not the best, for the fan meeting, and hopefully that this event will be like Super Show II and not like FT Island's bad management. Poor boys and fans.
So till then,
I'll be back~
Lost my Ice Cream to a washing machine, got a GT505!
Annyeong~
For the past 2 days, I've attending a conference in Crowne Plaza Hotel, Kuala Lumpur. As expected, the conference was...a conference. What did I expect? But the hotel was nice and the luncheon was superb on the first day. We all ate like hell, keke...and we call ourselves nutritionists.
Anyway, today the conference came to an end and after that I went to get a new cellphone. Remember the after-effects of Super Show II and how I lost my LG Ice Cream to my washing machine. Well, the phone was beyond help and I asked the money from my dad to get a new cell phone. So much of a good daughter.
I wanted to get LG Lollipop that Big Bang and 2ne1 endorsed at first because it was cute and pretty and I'm really weak against shining little things (including SHINee), but it was sold at around RM790-RM830. It was quite pricey considering the fact that it didn't have a Wi-Fi function. My budget was around RM850.
So, I surveyed for LG GT500 Puccini, which for me was quite affordable and it had the function that I wanted. But I went around and most stores in Sg Wang had never heard of it! I wasn't sure if the model had already arrived in Malaysia, but I was too tired to go to Low Yat Plaza to survey the model there. There wasn't much difference in price anyway between Sg Wang and Low Yat.
For the past 2 days, I've attending a conference in Crowne Plaza Hotel, Kuala Lumpur. As expected, the conference was...a conference. What did I expect? But the hotel was nice and the luncheon was superb on the first day. We all ate like hell, keke...and we call ourselves nutritionists.
Anyway, today the conference came to an end and after that I went to get a new cellphone. Remember the after-effects of Super Show II and how I lost my LG Ice Cream to my washing machine. Well, the phone was beyond help and I asked the money from my dad to get a new cell phone. So much of a good daughter.
I wanted to get LG Lollipop that Big Bang and 2ne1 endorsed at first because it was cute and pretty and I'm really weak against shining little things (including SHINee), but it was sold at around RM790-RM830. It was quite pricey considering the fact that it didn't have a Wi-Fi function. My budget was around RM850.
LG ICE CREAM
So, I surveyed for LG GT500 Puccini, which for me was quite affordable and it had the function that I wanted. But I went around and most stores in Sg Wang had never heard of it! I wasn't sure if the model had already arrived in Malaysia, but I was too tired to go to Low Yat Plaza to survey the model there. There wasn't much difference in price anyway between Sg Wang and Low Yat.
LG PUCCINI
In the end, I bought LG GT505, which has similar function with Puccini at RM 910, along with a 2GB memory card and screen protector. It was slightly over my budget and I had to add using my own money (which I don't have much always), but I hope it will be worth it!
Let's hope that it won't give me too much trouble later and baby, welcome to my life!
Till then,
I'll be back~
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
SHINee is coming to Malaysia??? And I still haven't recover from SS2!!!
Anyyeong~
Right after Super Show II in Malaysia that send fans up high in ecstatic mode even after the concert has ended, we were hit by another rumour, SHINee is coming to Malaysia on May 25th, 2010 to have a fan meeting in The Summit Batu Pahat, Johor!! I lived in BP before so I know where the mall is and godddddd!!! I'm supposed to have my practical training in KL that day!! It was a working day and the fan meeting will be held at 3pm to 4.30 pm!!
Aside from people who can skip work or school, most who can attend will be kids or students who don't have classes la. And I'm stuck in KL with my practical training!! I really wanna go and meet them!! OH GOD!!
I'm hoping that it'll just be a rumour or the time can be changed or anything!!!! This noona really wanna see the SHINING SHINee boys!! KEYYYYYYYYYY!!! kekeke
Zhang Li Yin will be coming too but hey, I'm a girl and it's SHINee that I'm waiting for. KKEEEYYYYYY!!!
Phew...I should keep my head together. Got my final exam in just a few weeks but still haven't recovered from the Super Show madness fever and now thanks to this rumour, I will take longer to recover.
Anyway, SHINee will be having their comeback soon and pictures of them with their new hair styles are all over the internet. Here's some of it. I do not own the picture. Found it on soompi
I'll be waiting for them to remove their hats during their comeback performances while praying that somehow, I can go and see the boys. Planning up something in my head...
Until I can come up with something,
I'll be back~
Right after Super Show II in Malaysia that send fans up high in ecstatic mode even after the concert has ended, we were hit by another rumour, SHINee is coming to Malaysia on May 25th, 2010 to have a fan meeting in The Summit Batu Pahat, Johor!! I lived in BP before so I know where the mall is and godddddd!!! I'm supposed to have my practical training in KL that day!! It was a working day and the fan meeting will be held at 3pm to 4.30 pm!!
Aside from people who can skip work or school, most who can attend will be kids or students who don't have classes la. And I'm stuck in KL with my practical training!! I really wanna go and meet them!! OH GOD!!
I'm hoping that it'll just be a rumour or the time can be changed or anything!!!! This noona really wanna see the SHINING SHINee boys!! KEYYYYYYYYYY!!! kekeke
Zhang Li Yin will be coming too but hey, I'm a girl and it's SHINee that I'm waiting for. KKEEEYYYYYY!!!
Phew...I should keep my head together. Got my final exam in just a few weeks but still haven't recovered from the Super Show madness fever and now thanks to this rumour, I will take longer to recover.
Anyway, SHINee will be having their comeback soon and pictures of them with their new hair styles are all over the internet. Here's some of it. I do not own the picture. Found it on soompi
Until I can come up with something,
I'll be back~
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