7 Years of Love

Annyeong,
I don't know why I feel a little bit down today. I really don't feel like doing anything today though I have a few assignments that needed to be taken care of. (-.-)


I'm currently listening to Super Junior's Kyuhyun singing 7년간의 사랑 a.k.a 7 Years of Love. This song is a remake and was sang by a group "White." Anyway, being Kyuhyun with his superb vocal, he really nailed it with this song. It's good to listen to with his soothing vocal and nice melody. It fits my mood though the lyrics don't really have any connection to me at the moment.


Here's the performance of Kyuhyun singing the song. 





This is the lyric and translation
Title: 7 Years of Love / 7년간의 사랑

From: Yoo Youngsuk’s Tribute album (Original Sung by the group ‘White’)
Sung By: Kyuhyun

chilnyeoneul mannatjyo
amudo uriga ireoke
swipge ibyeolhal jureun mollatjyo
geuraedo urineun heeojyeo beoryeotjyo
gin sigan ssahawatdeon gieogeul namginchae

urin eojjeom neomu eorinnaie
seororeul manna gidaenneunji molla
byeonhaeganeun uri moseupdeureul
gamdanghagi eoryeowonneunjido
ibyeolhamyeon apeudago hadeonde
geureongeotdo neukkilsuga eobseotjyo
geujeo geunyang geureongabwa hamyeo damdamhaenneunde

ureotjyo uuu sigani gamyeonseo naegejun
aswiume geuriume naetteutgwaneun dareun
naui mameul bomyeonseo
cheoeumen chinguro daeumeneun yeoninsairo
heeojimyeon gakkaseuro chingusairaneun
geu mal jeongmal matneunde

geu huro samnyeoneul bonaeneun donganedo
gakkeumssik seoroege yeollageul haesseotjyo

dareun han sarameul manna ttodasi
saranghage doeeosseumyeonseodo nan
seulpeulttaemyeon hangsang jeonhwalgeoreo
sorieobsi nunmulman heulligo
neodo joheun saram mannaya doenda
maeumedo eomneun mareul hamyeonseo
ajik nareul johahana gwaenhi dollyeo malhaetjyo

arayo uuu seoro gajang sunsuhaesseotdeon
geuttae geureon sarang dasi hal su eopdaneun geol
chueogeuro nameulppun
gakkeumssik chagaun geuael neukkilttaedo isseoyo
hajiman ijeneun amugeotdo yoguhal su
eopdaneun geol jal aljyo
na ije gyeolhonhae geu aeui maldeutgo
hanchameul amumaldo hal suga eobseotjyo
geurigo ureotjyo geu ae majimak mal
saranghae deutgosipdeon geu hanmadi ttaemune

The translation

We met for seven years
No one knew we would say goodbye this easily
However we still separated
With the memories we built for a long time, now gone

How did we at such a young age
Meet each other, I don’t even remember how
Difficult for us to handle the maps of our changing selves
They said saying goodbyes are painful

But I didn’t even have time to feel that
I just thought this is the way staying composed
But I cried
Time passed it gave me a simple yearning
Different from what my mind was seeing
At first friends then next as lovers

We said we’d stay as friends even if we separated
During those 3 years spent alone
We contacted each other sometimes
Even if I met someone else again

Even I loved again
Whenever I was sad I would call you without a word just tears falling
You have to meet a good person
I thought in my heart without any words
I asked if you still liked me without any thought hoping you say it back

I know
We had the most pure love
Back then we thought that kind of love couldn’t be done again se we saved it in out memories
Often I feel a cold feeling from you
But now I know you can not ask anything
“I’m getting married” is what you said to me
After that for a long time I was speechless
Then I cried they were your last words to me
For the only words I wanted to hear was that you loved me

Lyrics Credit: jpopasia.com

Kyuhyun performing 7 Years of Love

I'm supporting Kyuhyun here though I'm a Lee Donghae fan since we were born in the same year and month only on different day. If we don't support each other, then the dragon cannot rise. heh

Let's get Married!

Annyeong~

Today I accompanied my friend to get a new cell phone at Low Yat Plaza. As she was dealing with the seller, I got a phone call from my big sis. She asked me whether I'll be going home this weekend since on Monday is another say off. So, I told her I didn't have any plans to go home this weekend but I sensed there was something else that concern her and going home for the weekend.

I asked her if she wanted to go home and she told me that someone proposed to her! I didn't hear her at first because it was so noisy but when she mentioned about this guy, whom she briefly told me about in the past, I felt something else. I didn't believe it at first. I asked her to repeat herself and I screamed like I was in her position. Kekeke...

Anyway, I went out with my sis at 10 pm just now and we talked about her plans to inform my mother and asked for my opinion. I just told her if she really think this is the best decision for her to find her happiness then she should go for it. We cannot depend on people to find our happiness, we have to find it.

She was worried about this and she said she couldn't sleep for two days thinking about this matter. Well, it's up to her to make the decision as the guy seemed to be so determined and serious to meet our family. I just hope for the best for my sis and crossing my fingers for her >.<

After all we've been through, I think my sis deserves to be happy and if this man can give her that, then she have all my support!

Yep the Soeulmate decided to get married! kekeke..just kidding.

The picture above just look so nice and it suited my post!

P/s - My sis even gave me RM100 when we were about to go home just now. Thanks sis! <3

Well, till then...

I'll be back~

Ever heard of a band named 9th Street?

Annyeong~

Another post on the same day. I came across this band named 9th Street after watching the drama You're Beautiful. Their song Without Saying/ Maldo Eopsi is one of the OST for the drama. At first didn't really get me but after it kept on playing in the background, I started to become addicted to it. And now, it's one of my favourite songs at the moment.

I searched for the band but nothing much is available on the internet about them. It's kind of disappointing, because I like the voice that sang the first verse and first chorus. Anyway all I know is that they're a new band and they're debuted on Feb 2009. If I'm not mistaken they consist of 2 males and 2 females.

Here's the song Without Saying with lyrics. The translation is in the video.

Without Words lyrics (Credit to owner. I can't remember where I found the lyrics)
ha ji mal gor gu re so
mo run chog he bo ril gol
an bo i nun got cho rom
bol su op nun got cho rom nol
ha ye
bo ji mar gor gu ret na bwa

do mang chir gor gu re so
mot du run chog gu rol gol
dut ji do mot ha nun chog
dur ur su op nun got cho rom
ha ye
ne sa rang dut ji ha nul gol

mal do op shi sa rang ul al ge ha go
mal do op shi sa rang ul ne ge ju go
sum gyor ha na jo cha nor dam ge he no go
i ro ge do mang ga ni ka

mal do op shi sa rang i na rul to na
mal do op shi sa rang i na rul bo ryo
mu sun mar ul hal ji da mun hi bi
hon ja so no lan go ga ta
mal do op shi wa so

we i rok e a pun ji
we ja ku man a pun ji
nol bol su op da nun go
ne ga op da nun go mal go
mo du
ye jon gwa tok ga tun gon de

mal do op shi sa rang ul al ge ha go
mal do op shi sa rang ul ne ge ju go
sum gyor ha na jo cha nor dam ge he no go
i ro ge do mang ga ni ka

mal do op shi sa rang i na rul to na
mal do op shi sa rang i na rul bo ryo
mu sun mar ul hal ji da mun hi bi
hon ja so no lan go ga ta

mal do op shi nun mur i hu lo ne ryo
mal do op shi ga sum i mu no jo ga

mal do op nun sa rang ul gi da ri go
mal do op nun sa rang ul ha pa ha go
nok shi na ga bo ryo ba bo ga dwe bo ryo
ha nul man bo go hu ni ka

mal do op shi i byol i na rul cha ja
mal do op shi hi byol i ne ge wa so
jun bi do mot ha go nol bo ne ya ha nun
ne mam i no lan got ga ta
mal do op shi wa so

mal do op shi wat da ga
mal do op shi to na nun
ji na gan yol byong cho rom
jam shi a pu myon dwe na bwa
ja ku
hyung to man nam ge dwe ni ka

A few updates in a single post!

A few days have passed and i didn't get a chance to update my blog, well now it's time to update!

First thing first, on Monday (25/.1/2010) I did a community screening programme for my course and nothing interesting happens though..Just a normal day.

On the 26th of Jan, it was the 23rd birthday of my angel, KIM YOUNGWOONG JAEJOONG, though it was the 2nd day of my screening programme. Nothing special for me, again but I saw this on allkpop, Jaejoong celebrated his birthday i Japan. It didn't mention with whom did he celebrated it with but I wish him a long and happy life! May this year bring him so much happiness and stay healthy always love!

A few pictures from the website and credits to owner.

And this is what his cake looked like..

And on that day, I managed to get the thing I've been waiting so long, a baby Jaejoong lion as a result of my hardship and spending my money buying toiletries from Guardian. This is what my baby Jaejoong looked like,

A lion, just like my Jaejoong in Ballon's MV

2ndly, yesterday night my little sis text me asking me whether it is true that SHINee is coming to Singapore sometime in February. I found this on Jpopasia.com

Korean Boyband SHINee To Visit Singapore In February

Added by: xaosmx  |  Date: 25 January, 2010 (2 days ago)  |  Views: 472  |  Source: yahoonews For the coming month of February, Korean music producer Oh Joonsung will be throwing a two-day performance at the Esplanade titled 'Oh Joonsung Drama Concert - Music from Korean Drama Favourites'. Oh will be leading a nine-person member band, Green Cacao, and a local string orchestra to perform tunes to popular drama series like Boys Over Flowers and My Girl. Various Korean acts such as Bobby Kim, Mario, and boyband, SHINee, will guest-star at the concert and perform a few of their titular tracks. Apart from performing at the esplanade for two nights, the young and effervescent SHINee will also hold a fan-signing session to meet with fans. SHINee's music album, Year of Us will be sold at the fan-signing event itself starting from 9.30am in the morning. Only fans that have purchased the albums are allowed to queue for signatures. A limited number of albums will be sold at the venue to maintain exclusivity and only 1000 lucky fans will be able to get the signatures of their favourite idols. Here is SHINee's itinerary for their visit to Singapore: Arrival at Changi Airport Oh Joonsung, SHINee, Bobby Kim, and Mario (via the same flight) Date: 29 January Time: 8.45pm Location: Changi International Airport, Terminal 3 Year of Us fan-signing session Date: 31 January Time: 1.30pm Location: Lot One, Roof Garden Level 5 Oh Joonsung Drama Concert - Music from Korean Drama Favourites Date: 1 & 2 February Time: 7.30pm (90 minutes) Location: Esplanade Theatres on the Bay Ticket prices: $150, $130, $110, $90 (Special promotional prices at $90 and $75 are available for students and the elderly) Interested readers can visit www.sistic.com.sg to purchase tickets to the drama concert. Damn! My mom's house is so near to Singapore but I didn't have any passport! DAMN DAMN DAMN! Key, Minho and Taemin will be just right in front of my eyes, well, technically not, but I can't go there! Fuh, I just wish they can drop by to Malaysia, and have a visit here..Come la Key! Even though I'm a noona, I'm asking a dongsaeng to spend the money here...kekeke...forgive noona, Key. Just give me 3 years and I'll  be capable noona you can rely on to spend my money on you ;p And last but not least, U Kiss will be releasing their new album on the 3rd of February entitled Without You. Here's where I found out about this news, again credit to owner. UKiss To Release 1st Full Length Album Added by: xaosmx  |  Date: 26 January, 2010 (8 hours ago)  |  Views: 42  |  Source: sookyeong.wordpress.com  |  Suggested by: Miki TRACK LIST:* Intro I Like You Remix ManManHaNi Remix Not Young Remix O.K Remix Give it to Me Remix Talk to Me Remix 뭐라고 빙글빙글 Bang Bang Ban Dancing Floor Without You 뭐라고 Instrumental 빙글빙글 Instrumental U-KISS’ first full album ‘Without You’ is scheduled to be released on the 3rd of February. It will be released on the 27th of January on online sites (Melon, Dosirak, Muze, Mnet, Bugs, Monkey3, Soribada etc.) On the 28th~29th, it will be released on Hot Track, Sinara, Interpark, Yes24, CD BOX, Wow Music etc. Seems like they got a new image for their upcoming album and I am so looking forward for this one! Here's a preview for their single "Without You"

And to top all these things off, I got some bleeding in my eye. I think it's because of the contact lens that I wore today. I don't know what went wrong but when I removed them today, I saw a little bloody stain in my left eye. Just hope nothing serious will happen and I will discontinue my contact usage for a few days.

A totally irritating and bloody hell day!

AGHHHH!!

I'm so pissed! Why did we have to suffer because of the lecturer's convenience? We had a straight 4 hour lecture of Sociology and Anthropology today from 12 pm till 4 pm. And the result was? I feel like yelling in the lecture hall to ask that lecture to stop talking and just end everything there!

But I can't. Damn it! Stupid!! This lecture was supposed to be twice a week, two hours per each session. But since the lecturer is from the main campus, and we're just the branch campus, she decided by HERSELF to compile the four hours into one day. Why? So that she can save her time travelling from there to here. Selfish act.

And all she talked about was the ideals and sociology part of nutrition and i really could never understand why we must take this bloody course!! She kept on babbling about the so called ideals like she wanted to plant these bloody ideals into our bloody heads! Every single moment was a torture for me. I feel like I was going to explode in the class just now.

And to add more to the torture, we were assigned to interview subjects for a projects on social class and food intake or something like that. I really think that we were just doing her a favour but didn't get anything in return. We have to interview people outside our campus and for who? For that lecturer!!!

It makes me sooo mad to think about it! To hell with the survey! Why do I have to do her work when all her lectures are so damn bloody irritating and full of shits!?

I really need a lot of strength to attend her last class next week, another 4 hours of torture. After that another lecturer will take over the course and hopefully, the  new lecturer will not be so bloody boring and annoying. Social science is already as bloody boring as it is. There's no need to add more to it.

Journey to get the Super Junior 2nd Asia Tour Tickets!!

Yattaaaa~~~ I finally did it! I woke up around 8 this morning and went to the ticket counter at 9.30 am. The plaza wasn't even open yet but when I arrived there, there was already people lining up to get the tickets. And the counter opened only at 11. 

After waiting for 7 hours, I finally managed to get the ticket at 4.30 pm! 

The management (Axcess) was messy and when they opened a new counter for the rock pitt, totally ignoring the fact that we who had already waited since morning, we got pissed off! And those people who came later than us managed to get the ticket before us because of the new counter they opened. The management even printed out a whole set of what...around 100 tickets for the HELL pitt first, not bothering to attend us who were waiting to get the ticket for numbered seats!!

After some of us complained, then they only started to attend us. Even after that, the computer hang and we had to wait for about 45 minutes and there were only 2 people ahead of us! There won't be a problem if the counter was opened from the beginning or if the tickets for the HELL pitt were printed earlier, but when they made us who had waited for half a day to wait again, while those who came later were attended, that what made us so MADDDD!!!

Anyway, all those pain and hard work, was paid off when we finally get our tickets after waiting exactly 7 hours and 10 minutes.

Yah, Lee Donghae 이동해! You see how much trouble I've to go through just to see your face once in my whole life? But I still adore you, that's why I worked hard to get this ticket and spend lots of money for it!

Super Junior hwaiting~

(since my Dong Bang Shin Gi is not showing any signs of visiting me here in Malaysia T.T Dong Bang saranghaeyo) 

Oh, I even had dreams of some Super Junior members for the past week after I found out about this Super Show, but last night one of the Rising God of the East, U-know Yunho visited my dream! I woke up feeling more than happy today.

Super Junior 2nd Asia Tour in Malaysia!

Annyeong~~

I got this news today! A friend of mine told me about the Super Junior 2nd Asia Tour that will be held in Malaysia on 20th March 2010!

After a long wait, the boys will finally be here. I'm so going there! God, I'm so excited about this event that I even call the hotline to ask about it. Putting aside the doubts that I had, especially about the cancelled FT Island concert before, I will work hard to get myself into that stadium on the 20th!!

Aja aja fighting~

Here's the details about the concert, courtesy of Martensia

Super Junior 2nd Asia Tour

Finally I can have the chance to see these people live rather than on screen. Can't wait to see my Donghae! ^^

Crossing my fingers to get the ticket this Monday at Sg Wang plaza. >.< And I'm so have to control my money if I want to get the ticket!

Till then,

I'll be back~

A coincidence?

Konbachiwa~

In my previous post, being a fangirl that I am, I mentioned something about how Jaejoong's existence means to me and how his voice helped me through the hardest time..well, guess what?


I just came across Jaejoong and Yoochun (Soulmate) single, SHELTER a few minutes ago...keke...even though I called myself a fan, but I don't really know about this Soulmate single from their album...I don't really remember the name of the album well...pardon me..


But what I want to stress here is that the lyric of the song...this is just what the song is all about and not the full translation:


Like the wind avoids the rain, I am watching you from my shelter
Even though my love for you overflows
Can I love you? Can I hold you?
I’m about to drown in my worries. I can’t forgive myself for hesitating.
I want to know why, I want to know why

--rap--

When we met my girl, I knew it would be like this
Do you feel me? The only one I’ve been looking for
I can’t breathe my word. My words turn into tears
Do you feel me? The sound of the rain that hits my heart
I always want to keep you smiling. I’m sorry that I made you sad [T/N hang your head]
But please keep waiting
Don’t give up your love, stay by my side
I need your love, I need your love

--Rap--

If I reach out my hand, my girl, I’ll believe that you’ll be able to understand
Do you feel me? Even if there are wounds left
The place you are is my world. If you open the doors again
Do you feel me? I want to feel your sound



Source: blueeeee-sky
Video Credit: noamama0216
Translated by: Aly@DBSKnights
Shared by: DBSKnights


I almost laughed at how this lyric matches my situation...I swear I never knew about this song when i wrote my previous post until about 10 minutes ago...this song is the perfect description on how this fella (referring to Jaejoong) existence means to me...


This is what Jaejoong said about the meaning behind the lyric of the song

Q- What kind of message are the lyrics filled with?

JJ: My world won’t exist if there is no you. You may not know about me, but I still keep thinking of you. It sounds a bit like a stalker… (laughs). It’s like this… a person doesn’t even know a thing about another person, but this other person somehow feels strength and encouragement just for the fact that the person does exist. So this song tries to express an appreciation for the existence of someone to other people.

Call me a dumb or stupid because tons of people might think the same way as I did, but this kind of twist of fate is what makes me feel so connected to them although they never knew about my existence...

Is it just a mere coincidence? Whatever it is, I'm still happy because Jaejoong and Yoochun really knows how their fans feel about their existence although these men never really knew about each and every existence of their fans...if you got confused with my last sentence, just pretend like you understand...

So, that's it for now..cause,

I'll be back!

My Soulmates

My Hero

My Micky

My men!

Annyeong~

Since this blog is so random and nothing interesting happened today, i decided to babble about the beautiful men that caught my attention these days. And don't get me wrong cause i really like beautiful males than the too masculine males..my friend told me i had another disorder and i told her i'm proud of myself..kekeke..anyway the first lad tonight is

1. KIM JAEJOONG <3

 

A member of Dong Bang Shin Gi with perfect voice to match his perfect looks and perfect skill as a husband cook. You can't really find man like that easily. I have to say that before I became Jaejoong's fan, I never really pay any attention to the name TVXQ but I've heard of them. But on one miraculous day, a friend of mine was watching Tohoshinki's "Five in Black" Concert and I entered her room while they were singing "Begin." It might sounded plain dumb but I was mesmerized by Jaejoong's solo in that song. From there my history with Kim Youngwoong Jaejoong began ^^ His voice had always had the soothing effect on me. When I was going through the tough period, I just plugged in my earphones and played DBSG just to hear his voice. Even until now, I still played his best solo "Footsteps" and "Insa" on repeat at night when I felt so down as I looked at the night view of the city through my window. During those time, I felt at peace the most and like I was alone in the world with only Jaejoong's voice accompanying me.

Even though I read somewhere in an interview Jaejoong mentioned that he didn't like his voice because he sounded weird but rest assured Jaejoong, thousands of people love your voice and I'm one of that thousands of people. Your accompishment today is the prove that 'weird' voice of yours manage to touch millions of hearts in the world!

Oh yes, in case you haven't noticed yet, the terms Dong Bang Shin Gi/DBSG/Tohoshinki/TVXQ all referred to this godly band. 

2. Micky Yoochun

    

Park Yoochun is another member of DBSG too and my other favourite member. I didn't really bother about him when I started to become a fan of DBSG (so much of a fan I am) because I just paid my attention to the eye candy above...blame him for being perfect. I started to take notice of Micky Yoochun when I did some DBSG quizzes online...All of my result somehow pointed towards Jaejoong except for one quiz "Who is your soulmate in DBSG?" or something like that and I was snapped when I got Micky Yoochun...After I watched some of the variety shows that DBSG attended, I have to admit that me and Micky Yoochun  are alike. It's not a bad thing though but sometimes, it's just that we shared the same thoughts on certain issues and I know there are thousands of people out there might share the same thing with Micky or anybody else, but hey, I just wanna say that I felt connected to him..well, in a way hard to describe.

I'm gonna stop here tonight because if I continue, the more trash I would write and people might say to my face, "Don't think you're the only one feels that way, there are other people who are fanatics about these two more that you do."

I never like fanatics, though sometimes I felt like I'm one of them but somehow, I always know my limit and how far can my fangirling mode goes on before I have to get back to the harsh reality.

But I'm going to continue posting on beautiful men/guy tomorrow. So until then.

I'll be back~

A friendly meeting after about6 years

konbachiwa,

today i'm writing late..my internet connection's quite bad today..as i'm listening to SHINee's Jojo right now,
i want to write about someone i met as i was having my lunch yesterday..an old friend that i haven't met for about 6 years..it was quite surprising how people changed..i couldn't recognized her even though we had came across each other before this...she recognized me, guess i didn't change much since the last time we met..

anyway, i think the most memorable part of the meeting was when i asked her about her previous boyfriend who was also our classmate..we talked about it for some time and she told me they were no longer together but that boy still contacted her..so i teased her about maybe the boy wanted to return to her..which she just shrugged it off and said she got another person and she wanted to be loyal to just that person..

that got my attention as i thought, there are still people who think that innocent and naively...i don't really think that people can stay to just one person and as loyal as a dog can be unless you really found that other half of you..he..soeulmate talk here...miss the SoEul couple...

anyway..i just think that i would never come across such talk at this age and world we are living today..the way she spoke of it was really innocent and for a while i was taken aback by her words..i felt pretty dumb for not having such determination or feeling that there's a thing such as everlasting love...

well, if you come from a background like mine, i doubt you can really believe in this man-and-woman relationship that doesn't based solely on sexual attraction and such..and how fragile the relationship is..a good example was shown to me by my parents..heh..

it's getting late and i got a class tomorrow at 9 and straight to 4...just hoping that i can wake up for class..so bye bye for now and as always,

I'll be back...

Shopaholic mode on!

Today i bought a pair of shoes from Treats...here it is my dear fluffy! oh i forgot,can't bluetooth the pic from my cell...

Feel a bit tired and am going to have an early night  today...all that walking around exhaust me...i went to Etude House to buy some facial masks and a mascara...i told the girl there that i wanted a navy blue mascara, and i pointed to the sample i was looking at...i didn't really pay attention to the box that she took and placed my "mascara" on the counter...i paid without checking and when i came home, waalllaahh, it's an eye liner..i don't know who's dumber? me or the salesgirl..i don't feel angry though cause the staff there are all friendly and nice...so i'm going to go there next time and make sure i get a real mascara..

till then, i'll be back!

Trying some new things

Today, i received the long awaited email from someone...it's about doing some online advertisement and you get paid for it..but i have to pay RM20 in advance for the starting material...i banked in the money to that person's account last week and i waited for a reply from him for a few days already.,,thought that it might be a scam, i just let it go...but not without cursing that person in my head...to my surprise, i got the email today, cause he had some delay with something...oppsie, sorry there buddy!

i'm doing this advertisement thing that i don't fully understand to get some side income aside from my study loan..being a university student is tough...the loan can help me pay my fees and survive till the end of the semester, but hey, i'm a girl and i'm a consumer..so i think i need to find some extra cash to fulfill my responsibility to spend and help the economy grows..pleh...anyway, i love shopping..even if it's just a mascara from Etude House or a TVXQ illustrated socks...by the way, the socks are quite pricey...it's around RM12.90 a pair..and lately, i'm buying stuff online too...and so far i have been lucky..no scam...

My beloved Etude House....

today, i got my jacket i ordered from an online shopping blog and it was cute! can't upload the picture cause i lost my bluetooth device so i'm just gonna post the catalogue picture of my jacket..

anyway, the reason i mentioned about the job i found was because i'm worried that i won't get enough money for myself...my father and mother are recently divorced and my father is married to a super bitch and she's controlling him and his money...so it was hard for me to ask for extra cash from my father...my mother on the other hand, is not working but she's quite a spender too..i got that blood from her, so i know how fast can she spend the money she has...money is always a problem for us in the first place..

i came from a big family....8 siblings that i approved of...cause my father got another daughter from his current marriage with the bitch and i don't think we can easily accept that child of his...and now, my father is starting another family, he will be needing more money..which he didn't have cause he just got depromoted from his previous post as a police officer..

some people asked me if i was sad because of my parents divorcing at a very late stage...after 25 years of marriage..my mom is 52 and my dad is 51 this year...i don't really feel anything about it..because for the past 3 to 4 years, our family went through hell because of this matter...parents are no longer parents and they acted as if they're the only one matters in the world..we, as their children never give them problems that other children give to their parents...drugs, boys, alcohol, clubbing..these things never manage interest me or any of my siblings...we turned out pretty good for people who came from this kind of background..

during that 3 years, there was never a day that we can sleep at night without waking up in the middle of the night hearing them shouting and fighting, or when my father came home really late and my mom started throwing her temper around...there was never a peaceful day..even until today, i think sometimes i can still hear their voices in my head late at night even when i'm not home...

we got involve in their physical brawls, in our worthless effort to save our family all these years...the mental and emotional torture we had to go through were so harsh and eventually it made me stop feeling for anything..i never expect anything from anyone nor have i took the effort to find comfort in other people..cause i never like to see people feel sympathy for me...sympathy can do nothing...aside from my siblings of course...we were always there together during these hard times as we held each others hands...

and now, my father is living with the high demand bitch, hoping to find his so-called happiness with his new family, i only hope the best for him...just a moment ago, my younger sister below me send me a message saying that my mom went to help her aunt who owned a cafeteria in a university...she said she felt sad watching my mom picking up the dirty dishes and cleaning up the tables...and she felt angry with my father...even when i imagined my mother doing that job, my eyes were teary..but i can't cry cause right now people can see...i just want to start make my life stable and provide a better life for my mother in the future...as for my father, i just have to wait and see what fate had in store for him....

An intro to dark soul

How to start? Let's see...we'll start with the basic question..why did i want to start this blog? Probably because i like writing and like to put my thoughts anonymously in case other human on the planet shares the same thoughts as i did..

Who am i? i really don't wanna anyone to ever find out who i am...because once i find out people i knew are reading my thoughts, i automatically build up walls and i wont be able to share my real thoughts and feelings...so i really don't wanna expose myself..

And i have to warn you who might be reading this blog cause this blog will definitely contain narcissism, masochism, sadism and other form of disorders so i hope you can be mentally prepared...i just need a place where i can let my thoughts and feelings out freely without any constraint...because i can't do that in my real life..

I'm obsessed with Kim Jaejoong at the moment...and everything beautiful, especially men...before this it was Tegoshi Yuya...i changed easily...especially as a fan..but one thing i still enjoy doing is writing...

i write fanfictions and so far only two of them are published on the net..i used Final Fantasy 7 characters but the plot was something that i came up with..Cloud x Tifa fan here...

As for my blog, i planned to post some of my work here aside from my thoughts and angst as well as my fangirl moment...i'll just post anything i feel like posting cause hey, this is a free world..

So, that's it for intro and I'll be back..pleh, who's reading this anyway?