Trying some new things

Today, i received the long awaited email from someone...it's about doing some online advertisement and you get paid for it..but i have to pay RM20 in advance for the starting material...i banked in the money to that person's account last week and i waited for a reply from him for a few days already.,,thought that it might be a scam, i just let it go...but not without cursing that person in my head...to my surprise, i got the email today, cause he had some delay with something...oppsie, sorry there buddy!

i'm doing this advertisement thing that i don't fully understand to get some side income aside from my study loan..being a university student is tough...the loan can help me pay my fees and survive till the end of the semester, but hey, i'm a girl and i'm a consumer..so i think i need to find some extra cash to fulfill my responsibility to spend and help the economy grows..pleh...anyway, i love shopping..even if it's just a mascara from Etude House or a TVXQ illustrated socks...by the way, the socks are quite pricey...it's around RM12.90 a pair..and lately, i'm buying stuff online too...and so far i have been lucky..no scam...

My beloved Etude House....

today, i got my jacket i ordered from an online shopping blog and it was cute! can't upload the picture cause i lost my bluetooth device so i'm just gonna post the catalogue picture of my jacket..

anyway, the reason i mentioned about the job i found was because i'm worried that i won't get enough money for myself...my father and mother are recently divorced and my father is married to a super bitch and she's controlling him and his money...so it was hard for me to ask for extra cash from my father...my mother on the other hand, is not working but she's quite a spender too..i got that blood from her, so i know how fast can she spend the money she has...money is always a problem for us in the first place..

i came from a big family....8 siblings that i approved of...cause my father got another daughter from his current marriage with the bitch and i don't think we can easily accept that child of his...and now, my father is starting another family, he will be needing more money..which he didn't have cause he just got depromoted from his previous post as a police officer..

some people asked me if i was sad because of my parents divorcing at a very late stage...after 25 years of marriage..my mom is 52 and my dad is 51 this year...i don't really feel anything about it..because for the past 3 to 4 years, our family went through hell because of this matter...parents are no longer parents and they acted as if they're the only one matters in the world..we, as their children never give them problems that other children give to their parents...drugs, boys, alcohol, clubbing..these things never manage interest me or any of my siblings...we turned out pretty good for people who came from this kind of background..

during that 3 years, there was never a day that we can sleep at night without waking up in the middle of the night hearing them shouting and fighting, or when my father came home really late and my mom started throwing her temper around...there was never a peaceful day..even until today, i think sometimes i can still hear their voices in my head late at night even when i'm not home...

we got involve in their physical brawls, in our worthless effort to save our family all these years...the mental and emotional torture we had to go through were so harsh and eventually it made me stop feeling for anything..i never expect anything from anyone nor have i took the effort to find comfort in other people..cause i never like to see people feel sympathy for me...sympathy can do nothing...aside from my siblings of course...we were always there together during these hard times as we held each others hands...

and now, my father is living with the high demand bitch, hoping to find his so-called happiness with his new family, i only hope the best for him...just a moment ago, my younger sister below me send me a message saying that my mom went to help her aunt who owned a cafeteria in a university...she said she felt sad watching my mom picking up the dirty dishes and cleaning up the tables...and she felt angry with my father...even when i imagined my mother doing that job, my eyes were teary..but i can't cry cause right now people can see...i just want to start make my life stable and provide a better life for my mother in the future...as for my father, i just have to wait and see what fate had in store for him....